


state of mind

by penguinberryfest, versol



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Femslash, Internalized Homophobia, Porn With Plot, i just suck at writing smut, kind of plot idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25161646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinberryfest/pseuds/penguinberryfest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/versol/pseuds/versol
Summary: There's two things eating Kyungsoo up inside;Herself, and a deep longing for something more, with someone who feels so far out of reach.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Kang Seulgi/Park Sooyoung | Joy
Comments: 14
Kudos: 45
Collections: Penguin Berry Fest- Round 02 (January- July 2020)





	state of mind

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt: T-40** \- genderbent/fem!baeksoo based on the song wet dreams by daniela andrade   
>  **Disclaimer: penguin berry fest does not own exo and/or any characters that are mentioned in the stories.** their appearance in these fics do not represent them in real life. authors will be tagged after reveals unless they wish to remain anonymous.
> 
> ah man, a fic I've been wanting to write for a while but never found the chance.
> 
> I'm really happy this prompt popped up in the PB fest. It really gave me a challenge. Not gonna lie, there were a lot if ups and downs with this, and to be totally honest, I'm not sure I did all that great. I had a lot of moments where I questioned my worth and writing blah blah blah.
> 
> To my prompter, I'm sorry if this wasn't all what you were expecting, but I hope there's something in here you may enjoy nonetheless. This was new territory for me, but I'm still so glad I was able to write it for you. 
> 
> Smut has always been a challenge for me, but besides that, I was really able to pour out a lot of my own issues and feelings into Kyungsoo in this (surprise, not really). All the emotions are pretty much all things I;ve experienced at some point in my life, and still struggle with now. To all my fellow lesbian exo-l's out there, you real as fuck and I love you. 
> 
> Also, thank you to the mods for being super responsive, I ended up changing to this prompt earlier and they were so quick and helpful! I'm so thankful to have finally taken part in this fest, thank you guys again for organizing it and making it all happen, it wouldn't be possible without you <3

The weather is still warm despite how dark it is as they walk through the congested city streets. Kyungsoo and Seulgi weave their way through the busy New York nightlife and manage to squeeze their way into a nightclub that they didn’t bother to remember the name of. Seulgi found it through a friend, and that’s all Kyungsoo cared to remember at the time she was telling her about it. 

Upon stepping inside, Kyungsoo almost wonders why they even bothered to come here in the first place. They usually don’t party, or club, but Seulgi thought it would be a good way to kick off their final summer before their last year of school, so Kyungsoo agreed. 

Drinking and pretty girls. Kyungsoo sure won’t be doing either of those once school starts. Seulgi was the one to bring that point up when she was trying to sweet talk Kyungsoo into coming here. She was right, if there’s one night for Kyungsoo to be a little shameless, tonight might as well be it. 

Her and Seulgi are leaned up against the bar, watching people dance, laugh, drink, and slowly lose all diction between right and wrong, slowly sipping their beers and colorful cocktails. 

Kyungsoo stands by, watching silently as people move around her. She jumps, cocktail swirling around violently in her glass as Seulgi nudges her shoulder and leans down to say something into her ear. 

“I’ll be right back, Sooyoung just texted me that she’s here.” She says, slipping down from her seat and glancing back at Kyungsoo one last time, “You gonna be okay?”

Kyungsoo looks at her friend as if that was a dumb question but nods anyways, “I’m fine.”

She feels like she’s been watching everyone in this place in the amount of time she’s been here, but with every passing body there’s someone new. New subject is currently sitting at a table with a few other people, a glass in hand and a blank, almost unreadable expression on his face. 

Big uh-oh. For a guy in a place like this he isn’t the worst looking Kyungsoo’s ever seen, but that doesn’t mean she is, by any means, interested. A few buttons on the short sleeve shirt he’s wearing are undone, from where Kyungsoo is sitting, they look like they go just below his collar bone. He’s sat far down in a chair, letting his legs sprawl out and the top of his back and shoulders rest against the top of the chair. It’s weird. Definitely not attractive. 

Kyungsoo looks away when she sees him sit up, taking a long sip of her drink and checking her phone, silently hoping this guy hasn’t mistaken Kyungsoo for checking him out. She rests against the bar quietly, still staring at her phone, taking an occasional sip of alcohol, still feeling eyes anchoring her in place. 

When she feels a presence crawl up behind her, she assumes it’s Seulgi, and doesn’t turn to look, but the voice that speaks immediately tears her out of her temporary distraction and snapping her head over to the figure that’s taken Seulgi’s place next to her.

“I’ll have whatever she’s having, please.”

“What  _ are _ you drinking?”

Kyungsoo is silent as she stares at the stranger in front of her, almost forgetting what it was that she was drinking until she looks back down at it, “Rum and Coke.” 

“That guy seemed to have very strange intentions, figured I’d save you.” She mutters, watching Kyungsoo shift and take another drink. 

“How generous.” Kyungsoo deadpans, telling herself not to spare a glance over her shoulder. The other rum and Coke is slid over to the stranger, she smiles a soft, pretty smile, and takes a drink. 

“I’m fine though. But thanks.” She adds on quickly, not trying to make a bad impression in front of someone that’s definitely her saving grace.

The girl nods, “I’m Baekhyun.” She says, holding a hand out. 

“Kyungsoo.” She replies, gently taking Baekhyun’s hand and shakes once.

“So if dancing on strangers isn’t your thing why are you here?” She asks, leaning one elbow against the bar and looks at Kyungsoo brightly. Her ponytail falls behind her shoulder, the ends of her hair grazing over the surface of the bar. Her makeup isn’t super dramatic, but her eyeliner and red lip tint are definitely striking against her facial features.

Kyungsoo swallows, shrugs, “My friends and I figured it’d be fun to celebrate the beginning of the end.” 

Baekhyun tilts her head in confusion and Kyungsoo smiles, “We started our summer vacation not too long ago. Our last one before our final year of university.”

Baekhyun grins and picks her glass up, holding it out to Kyungsoo, “Here’s to the beginning of the end, then.” She says, watching Kyungsoo pick her glass up and tap it against Baekhyun’s, each of them taking a generous drink after. 

She takes a look around the club as Baekhyun tells the bartender something, holding up two fingers. She can’t seem to spot Seulgi or even Sooyoung anywhere among the bustling movement of bodies, and starts to wonder if they’re alright, but before she’s able to think too far into it, Baekhyun is holding out a shot for her.

Baekhyun’s lips curl up into a coy smile and Kyungsoo stares at her. Her shoulders are wide and her collar bones are well defined, the cropped camisole top she has on shapes her features perfectly. Her hair is styled up in a ponytail, letting her bangs fall on either side to frame the sharpness of her face, and her thighs are full in the skinny jeans she’s wearing.

But it’s her face, more so that Kyungsoo can’t seem to look away from. Her eyes are dark and convey so many of her expressions, and her lips are in the shape of a perfect triangle. Even here, in the low light of the club, they look insanely soft and Kyungsoo would not be against testing that speculation. The small moles above her lip and below her eye are perfectly adjacent and just as Kyungsoo takes the shot Baekhyun is holding out, she notices another on her thumb.

“For good luck.” Baekhyun‘s lips stretch out into a smile that makes her eyes shine. The two clink their glasses together again and shoot their heads back at the same time, both of them wincing at the taste of soju burning their throats.

“Fuck.” Kyungsoo sets the shot glass down, “Is that flavored?”

“Yeah, it’s grapefruit.” She smiles, already moving to fill her glass up again.

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo sighs, “That’s like, the worst one.”

“Best one,” Baekhyun corrects, “ But fine, you choose next.” Baekhyun stops and waves the bartender to ask for another go.

“Original. Like a normal person.” She tells the bartender, catching Baekhyun laughing out of the corner of her eye. 

They down those, Baekhyun orders another go and Kyungsoo finally feels her face starting to get warm and move up to her ears. 

They talk, but Kyungsoo eventually loses track of what the topic is. With the noise level and her now wavering attention span, the only thing she’s really able to focus on is Baekhyun’s voice. All thoughts about wherever her friends have gone have disappeared, and she finally feels her shoulders start to sag and relax, completely unaware that they were tensed up at all. 

Kyungsoo isn’t someone who gets drunk too often, nor is she the type to be slipping out of her seat and pushing through the condensed heat of the club while holding loosely onto a stranger's hand, but here she is. Shuffling on the sidewalk, mindlessly making conversation with Baekhyun and feeling the warmth of her voice draw her into her lips, and kisses her slowly outside what she faintly remembers Baekhyun telling her was her apartment complex. 

Kyungsoo was absolutely right; Her lips are soft, her tongue tastes of grapefruit soju and coke and Kyungsoo pulls her in a little closer, eager to taste more, get totally drunk over the taste of Baekhyun alone. 

Kyungsoo isn’t the type to get drunk with strangers unless they’re mutual friends of Seulgi’s or people she feels comfortable with. Still, she’s here, pressed up against the wall inside Baekhyun’s apartment, fingers wrapped tightly around her waist and she relishes in the heat of Baekhyun’s mouth against her neck, the firm press of her fingers against her skin under her t-shirt. Kyungsoo gets lost in it.

Lost in the warmth of alcohol in her bloodstream, in Baekhyun’s voice that coaxes her into her bed and under the heat of her body. Kyungsoo has no idea how she got here, he has no idea how she managed to become so malleable so quickly, but her body is completely ignited as Baekhyun’s hands and mouth trail over her body. 

  
  
  


Kyungsoo is lost when she wakes up, a little scared over where she is, what the weight over her waist is, and where the fuck her phone is at. 

There’s a whimper and some shifting behind her. It’s totally dark, save for the small sliver of the streetlights poking through a sliver in the curtains. Kyungsoo’s mouth is dry as she quietly wiggles out from the warmth of the bed and whoever it is pressed up against her. She feels around for her phone and puts it on silent, rejecting Seulgi’s call as he uses the screen as a flashlight to find her clothes scattered about the floor. 

Kyungsoo stumbles to the elevator and presses the button to the first floor with shaky fingers, calling Seulgi back as she steps off. She’s still a little drunk, but not enough to forget how to get home, not enough to forget every other sentence. 

She takes a glance at the time as the phone begins to ring. It’s just a little past three in the morning, meaning she must not have been asleep for very long. 

Kyungsoo steps out of the building and into the night air, taking a slow breath in and out. As she listens to her friends panic over the phone, watching her shoes scuff against the sidewalk, Kyungsoo gently reassures her friend that she’s fine and on her way back home. 

  
  


It’s a good thing she has the weekend to regret her decisions and drink her entire body weight in water before class on Monday. On the way back, she reels her mind back to when they stepped inside of the club, to the figure she saw across the room, and that was totally intercepted by the stranger who took her friend's seat.

Baekhyun, she thinks. It was Baekhyun in there.

There’s two things she can dwell on; The fact that she got borderline shit-faced and had a one night stand with a super hot stranger, and the fact that she didn’t get said hot stranger’s number. 

There is one of those things that she knows she’s going to think about on and off for a couple of weeks. Despite the fact that she only remembers small things, Kyungsoo knows her mind is going to jump back to it, make her rethink every single one of her life choices, regret everything about tonight, and casually move forward about her life. 

  
  


She takes too long to unlock the door to her and Seulgi’s shared apartment, and nearly falls inside. She trips over her feet trying to take her shoes off, realizes her fly is undone once she makes it to her room, yet still doesn’t bother to take her clothes off as she falls into bed. Her head hurts, her mouth is still dry, but her limbs are too heavy to move. She’s tethered to her mattress and falls asleep with her lights on, thinking about the weight of an arm that was just slung over her waist, repeating that name in her head over and over until she fell asleep to not forget it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


🐧 💄 🍓 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Aside from the fact that Kyungsoo is, without a doubt, attracted to women, it’s the socially acceptable part that makes her afraid, and continuously doubts herself to the point that she’s never been in a  _ proper  _ relationship. Not with anyone.

How funny is that, she thinks, attracted to girls when you’ve never had an actual relationship with one? Is that even a thing?

“You had a one night stand with a girl whose name is the only thing you can remember, and you’re already emotionally attached?” Was the first thing Seulgi had said, right after Kyungsoo had gone over the fuzzy details of that Friday. 

That Friday one month ago. 

It’s been one month since Kyungsoo threw herself into a once again questionable relationship. This time with Baekhyun, who she never thought she’d see again after that one night stand. But somehow, the universe is against her, and managed to throw her an entire curve ball just a week after her drunken night with Baekhyun. 

  
  


Of course, Kyungsoo had no choice but to agree when Sooyoung invited Kyungsoo out to meet an old friend she went to highschool with that was here for the summer. This friend from highschool, according to her, has a personality that sounds like the total opposite of her own. It might work, might not; A hit or miss, and should Kyungsoo miss, at least she can say she tried. It didn’t seem like too awful of a time, especially since it wouldn’t just be Kyungsoo and said stranger. 

There was going to be plenty more nights of finding some club and going to give it a try, plenty of apps for her to download, despite absolutely rejecting the idea of them. She has options. If things didn’t go well, she had plenty of options 

  
  


Because that’s how the Universe works. Or something.

If one thing fails maybe it was for a reason. Find another reason to continue fighting to get that one thing out of complete desperation and maybe, just maybe, it will work out. And if not, there’s always another option to that option. 

A continuous, tedious cycle that Kyungsoo has been wrung through since her freshman year of college out of confusion and sheer desperation. One that had her making her way into the little retro dive bar that Sooyoung had said they would all meet at, and almost collapsing at the pair of eyes she met with while Sooyoung obliviously introduced them. 

  
  


“Kyungsoo, this my friend Baekhyun who I was telling you about!”

“Oh my god.” She muttered. 

Had she heard that right? Was she hallucinating the person in front of her? Was this all real?

No. Either she’s insane or the universe is really conspiring against her.

  
  


(It was)

  
  


The one Kyungsoo had a one night stand with barely a week ago and has been oddly attracted to, is now standing in front of her as a potential set-up. 

The girl who Kyungsoo walked up to had a soft smile, eyes bright and in thin little crescents. Black hair that falls about halfway down her back. It wasn’t put up like the last time, and it fell down straight and shiny, and still framed and accentuated the features of her face. 

They both stared at each other for a few seconds, both in total shock, but Kyungsoo was totally taken aback, embarrassed, and flustered when Baekhyun laughs and says, 

“I asked you for directions on the way here!” 

She says that. But Kyungsoo can see that she’s trying to brush off the potential awkwardness that could arise out of this situation if either Seulgi or Sooyoung knew this was the girl Kyungsoo had been oddly attached to over the last week. Their reactions were too out of the ordinary to be looked over, and Kyungsoo could tell Seulgi was starting to catch onto something. 

Baekhyun was able to save them a very long explanation. 

Kyungsoo laughed nervously, “Yeah… What a surprise.” She breathed. 

After nearly having a total meltdown in the bathroom, Baekhyun snuck in and asked if she was okay, listened to Kyungsoo apologize what had felt like a million times for leaving and that it definitely was not like  _ that _ . 

  
  


It definitely was a relief to hear Baekhyun suggest hitting the reset button so casually. 

  
  
  
  


_ 1 New Message from: Hyunnie!!🐶  _

_ Still on for 7 right??? _

  
  
  


_ To: Hyunnie!! 🐶  _

_ I hope so  _

_ Kidding. Yes. < _

  
  
  


One month ago, the sky had fallen, and crashed right on top of Kyungsoo. 

One month later, she meets Baekhyun regularly during the week, usually going straight from work to Baekhyun’s Airbnb because she has Kyungsoo wrapped around her pretty finger and Kyungsoo just can’t seem to get enough. 

It always ends up with them panting against each other’s mouths, skin to skin, on Baekhyun’s bed, and Kyungsoo ditching as soon as Baekhyun has fallen fast asleep, sated and fucked out.

This weekend is no different. 

It’s been consistent. The only thing that’s changed is Kyungsoo’s feelings.

She’s grown incredibly comfortable with Baekhyun since their first time together up until now. There’s something to Baekhyun herself, not her body, nor the sex, but  _ her _ , that pulls Kyungsoo under and makes her desperately want to stay. 

  
  


When Baekhyun’s pretty, smiling face is finally within her grasp, the first thing Kyungsoo does is pull her straight in for a long, needy kiss. 

She doesn’t let either of them part until Kyungsoo’s back thumps against the door, “Miss me?” She feels her smile against her lips, “You wish.” Kyungsoo murmurs back, twisting her fingers into Baekhyun’s t-shirt and using the other, to run her fingers through her hair, to the back of her head, and pull her back in.

Baekhyun is very good at making Kyungsoo think too much about where they stand. 

Too much. 

Baekhyun is busy moving, busy trying to get her life started here, and won’t be here officially until next year. She’s only here for a couple more weeks and while Kyungsoo cares, Baekhyun doesn’t seem to. Not that she’s said, at least.

It’s probably best that way though. None of their friends really know the details of their little fling, they just ask every now and then how things are between them, and Kyungsoo is fairly certain they both give the same helpful answer of “It’s going fine.”

  
  


Kyungsoo is fairly certain that she’s simply filling in the space during Baekhyun’s temporary stay here. 

And while in another world, with someone else, she would absolutely care, with Baekhyun, she doesn’t. She’s too attracted to everything about Baekhyun to really allow herself care, because while everything just seems too good to be true, Kyungsoo also doesn’t think she could really do any better, much less anything at all if there was no Baekhyun to occupy her time.

The way her fingers are light and still so heavy against her skin when they slip under her shirt, and trail up her sides, making Kyungsoo inhale sharply and arch into the touch. Baekhyun’s lips, soft and hot and wet against her own, and how those pretty, canines feel against her neck. 

“Baek- Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo finally manages to breathe out. Baekhyun hums in response, running a hand over one of her breasts, “Your room.”

Baekhyun pulls back, a soft smile on her pretty swollen lips, “You feeling okay?”

“I’d feel better if you fucked me, but yeah. Fine.” 

The shift from the front door to the bedroom was a blur, and Kyungsoo couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than  _ Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun.  _

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite so needy.” Her fingers trail up Kyungsoo’s back to the clasp of her bra, and Kyungsoo can only scoff in response as she slips her t-shirt over her head just as Baekhyun undoes it. 

It’s a little surprising to hear the older girl say that. 

Her fingers wrap and tug at Baekhyun’s shirt as their lips find each other again, and Kyungsoo whimpers in need as Baekhyun kisses down her neck, leaving a few sharp bites in between soft kisses.

Kyungsoo can feel the heat beginning to spread through her body, as she works Baekhyun’s shirt off.

This, she thinks, this all she needs right now. Baekhyun’s lips on her skin, the friction of their hips grinding together slowly, and Baekhyun’s pretty fingers ghosting over her body. It light’s Kyungsoo on fire and she can’t help but arch up into Baekhyun’s mouth as it settles over a nipple. 

Her blunt nails dig into Baekhyun’s shoulder blades, and she gasps at the sharp tug of Baekhyun’s teeth against her skin. 

Everytime, Kyungsoo thinks, it always never just feels like having sex _ just because _ .

Maybe it’s because Kyungsoo can’t figure out her feelings, but everytime they end up like this it always feels so sensual, so much deeper. Almost as if there  _ were  _ feelings that neither of them know how to express. 

But there’s no way. Someone like Baekhyun with someone like Kyungsoo, 

There’s no way. 

  
  


Still, she can’t help but to feel something when Baekhyun is staring at her like this, eyes soft and not intimidating, but full of something so gently expressive that Kyungsoo can’t look away. The way her hands feel against Kyungsoo’s body is too gentle to be considered a way to just pass time. 

It feels like something so much more than just a summer fling because Kyungsoo just so happened to mention that this was her last summer to be free and stupid before reality comes to hit her like tidal wave next year. 

In a way, it kind of pisses her off. She didn’t intend to fall into this questionable situation with someone who is more stable, more confident, more everything than her, and Kyungsoo thinks maybe that’s why she keeps coming back to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun’s tongue runs over her lip, and into her mouth like it was always meant to be there, her fingers pushing soft whimpers from Kyungsoo as Baekhyun works them in and out of her, and Kyungsoo feels a sudden boost of confidence. 

They go back and forth like this for a while, Baekhyun occasionally making jokes in between their shared silence, and giving soft praises to Kyungso, but also checking to make sure each other is okay. It’s routine now. 

Once Baekhyun has Kyungsoo’s stomach tightening and sends a hot wave of fire through her body, she returns the favor, making Baekhyun’s fingers tighten in her hair and feels that confidence again as her name spills from Baekhyun’s mouth and into the stale air of her room. It feels good to feel like this. To make Baekhyun feel good. 

It’s nice for the moment. But then as time drags out and Baekhyun begins to fall asleep against Kyungsoo, thoughts start to race, Kyungsoo questions her worth, and so she leaves after barely having slept for more than a couple of hours. 

It’s not that she doesn’t want to stay, it’s that she doesn’t think she should. That this whole thing with Baekhyun is just for pleasure and that feelings are dangerous territory and are just better left untouched.

It’s hard, as Kyungsoo turns the lock on the knob and shuts the door to Baekhyun’s apartment as quietly as she can, she can only think about what in the world she’s going to do when Baekhyun leaves to go back home, and if they’re ever going to take the time to figure this out.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know if having a proper answer would make her feel better or worse. 

Better as in she doesn’t have to worry about the corrosive feelings that come with carrying the burdens of a relationship.

Worse as in still having to worry about the same things.

Social acceptance about two girls being in a romantic relationship is, granted, more widely received in the states that back in Korea, but Kyungsoo has heard how sexualized her preferences are. She’s heard how maybe she’s just never met the right guy. Add in the fact that there’s a very small circle of people that know about her, and so many other people who don’t, 

Kyungsoo thinks maybe she’s better off like this.

No matter how many times she goes over it, she will always have to convince herself that doing this is just better because no one knows except the two of them. It’s just easier that way.

  
  
  
  


_ 07:22  _

_ 1 New Message from: hyunnie!!🐶 _

_ You ghosted again  _

_ > You know you can stay right _

_ > are u going to irenes 4th of July thing?? _

  
  


Kyungsoo’s phone pings from the counter behind her as she pours herself a cup of coffee. She skims over them on her lockscreen as they taunt her for a response, unsure of what to say to either.

She never heard of anything about an event that Irene was holding on the fourth. But then again if Baekhyun has just heard of it, chances are it won’t be long until she’s next.

  
  


She had a couple of hours of time to herself, sitting outside on the balcony, drinking her coffee and scrolling through her phone until she finally hears about said event. It’s just a little get together she’s holding to drink and watch fireworks and eat a shit ton of food.

Sure, that’s all fine until the fact that Baekhyun is also going to said event is thrown into the mix. No one really knows a lot about what’s going on between them and if they were to show up and not meet the same ideas everyone else had of them in their heads… 

Surely it would be okay though. It would just be even more suspicious for Kyungsoo to bail out. 

She agrees, and then she thinks about that decision for a while. 

A while being all the way through her shift at work, and all the way to Baekhyun’s.

It would be okay, right? It’s not like everyone there doesn’t know about Kyungsoo being gay, but a lot of them don’t. They also don’t know that her and Baekhyun aren’t totally serious, how are they supposed to show up? How are they supposed to act? 

How many people are even going to be there? Kyungsoo knows for a fact that it won’t be just them. Her friends will bring their friends and suddenly what is supposed to be a “little get together” as Irene put it, will be a full blown party with people Kyungsoo has probably never or rarely met.

What a  _ nightmare _ . 

  
  


She has no idea what to do about this.

Well, she does. But she won’t act on it. 

Kyungsoo knows that showing up at Baekhyun’s door without the intention of confessing the feelings that have been slowly eating away at her for over a month now is the worst thing to do. But what’s Baekhyun going to do if Kyungsoo says that she likes her? 

She doesn’t want to put pressure on her while she’s trying to get moved here. Plus, Baekhyun probably has someone back in L.A. 

Besides that, someone like her with someone like Kyungsoo,

It would never work.

  
  
  


There’s a different kind of tension when Baekhyun answers the door, but Kyungsoo doesn’t notice it until Baekhyun has her pressed against her bedroom door.

She’s oddly quiet, and there’s a bit of something Kyungsoo can't quite understand when Baekhyun presses their bodies closer. A heaviness, something is off. The way she bites at Kyungsoo’s bottom lip, the way she crowds her closer against the door, it’s different. Heavier.

Maybe she’s just overthinking it. Maybe everything from today is just starting to catch up to her and make her mind race, especially now that she’s with Baekhyun.

“You never texted me back.”

Kyungsoo blinks, watching Baekhyun hover in front of her, eyes narrow and dark.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo mutters, “About Irene’s… Thing?”

Baekhyun hums, unbuttoning the clasp of Kyungsoo’s skirt and letting her fingers slip just under the hem before unzipping it, “You going?”

“I- I guess.”

“You guess,” Baekhyun huffs, giving Kyungsoo’s skirt a tug as the ladder lifts her hips away from the door so Baekhyun can slip them off. 

“What’s that supposed to even mean?” She murmurs.

There's a hint of bitterness in Baekhyun’s voice, “Either you’re going or you’re not.”

  
  


“Do you… Want me to?”

Baekhyun goes quiet for a few seconds, almost looking like she has too much to say as opposed to nothing at all before she quietly says, “It’s not my choice.”

That’s where the conversation dropped, and Kyungsoo made the final decision right then and there that she may as well just go for the sake of literally everyone, excluding herself. 

  
  


There was a brief couple of seconds where the tension between them had settled as they stared back and one another, but as soon as Kyungsoo recognized the spark of frustration in her voice in that sentence, it built right back up again.

The way she bites into Kyungsoo’s sensitive skin along her stomach and inside her thighs.

Baekhyun is silent as she slides Kyungsoo’s underwear down her legs, eyes focused on Kyungsoo’s body underneath her, not meeting her eyes until they’re discarded on the floor.

Baekhyun’s gaze is heavy and makes the tension on Kyungsoo’s chest start to weigh down even more. But still, she keeps it to herself, letting the only noise fall from her mouth be the whimpers when Baekhyun teases her fingers along Kyungsoo’s pussy.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun sings in a whisper, stretching to lean over Kyungsoo and brushes their lips together, “What kind of thoughts go through that pretty head of yours?”

“You always look like you have something on your mind.” The weight of Baekhyun’s body rests against Kyungsoo. The slight brush of her hips against Kyungsoo’s is enough to make her want to create more friction, to grind against her thigh, she wants more. 

Baekhyun presses their lips together briefly, and stares back down at Kyungsoo, “Maybe one day you’ll finally tell me.” She hums, straightening out and slowly letting her fingers tease Kyungsoo. 

It takes a moment in between the sudden rush of need and the softness of Baekhyun’s voice for her to register what it was that she said and suddenly feels a little awkward. Because she wants to tell Baekhyun a lot more than what she lets on. If she had the confidence, Kyungsoo would tell her everything and anything she wanted to know. 

If she’d let herself, Kyungsoo would stay. She’d let herself have those pillow talks and let herself share her ideas and her fears and all the things she admires and despises about the universe. 

If she could let this toxic piece of herself go and be less afraid, Kyungsoo would tell Baekhyun all the things she thought about the human race and would argue if humans are born inherently this or that. The little things, the miniscule arguments, and unpopular opinions. 

She wants it. But so far Kyungsoo feels like Icarus and Baekhyun is the sun she so desperately longs to reach. 

But those wings have long melted away and Kyungsoo is just falling and falling and she’s asking herself when she’ll finally just hit the ground so she won’t have to stop looking at the one thing she desires slipping further and further away. 

  
  


She gasps at the sudden feeling of Baekhyun’s fingers slipping inside her and exhales a shaky breath. Baekhyun is still fully clothed in front of her, opposed to Kyungsoo, who only has her top on. 

There’s a sudden jolt as Baekhyun pushes her back against the wall and kisses her, taking Kyungsoo completely by surprise. She whimpers when Baekhyun’s fingers curl and tightens her hold on the ladder’s t-shirt, kissing her harder. 

The heat of Baekhyun holding her against the door and the way she starts to feel her face getting red has Kyungsoo panting against Baekhyun’s neck as her fingers work in all the right places. The warmth of Baekhyun’s breath against her skin as she pants against Kyungsoo, silent. 

Her eyes squeeze shut and she feels the wet heat of Baekhyun’s lips against her neck. Kyungsoo is paralyzed, unable to move, only able to hear the moans and whimpers from her mouth and the soft hums from Baekhyun. 

Her movements become a little more frantic, Kyungsoo’s back arches from the door but she doesn’t make it but a few inches before Baekhyun shoves her back. She tries not to focus on it, something about  _ Baekhyun _ is off. She’s usually not so… Aggressive. 

Still, Kyungsoo stays quiet save for her own breaths and occasionally lets Baekhyun’s name fall from her lips until she stills, shaking and grip tightening wherever she can grasp, her eyes squeeze shut and she’s grabbing at Baekhyun’s wrist to slow her movements. 

“Pretty,” Baekhyun mutters, “Until you leave.”

Kyungsoo is fresh post orgasm. This is an awful time for her to be seeing the flash of hurt in Baekhyun’s eyes because now she just wants to cling and not let go.

Kyungsoo wants to say something in response, but the high is still making her convulse and whimper. All she can do is let her body go through the movements on its own and pull Baekhyun down into a soft kiss.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


🐧 💄 🍓

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo remembers the exact date she last spoke to her parents. It’s been just over 3 years since they last spoke, and the last time was when she came out to them before leaving for university.

She knew what she was getting herself into. She knew how they would react, and she was right. They thought she was just young and confused and just hasn’t met the right boy yet.

But that wasn’t it. It never was. And she argued that up until she left, enraged, heartbroken, and everything but relieved. 

When she first started her job as a shelver at the public library, an old hookup came to surprise her and made things clearly embarrassing. There were a lot of glances, not because they were being loud, but because it was two girls showing much more than just platonic affection. 

That scared her. She’s seen it before, on the train she once saw a couple get harassed, another time she heard a few slurs from classmates but never commented on it because she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. 

She’s heard the flirtatious frat boy say at a party that he’d fuck her straight, and then proceed to ask other women if they’d come make out with Kyungsoo so he could finally live out his weird threesome fantasy. 

That was the first and last college party Kyungsoo ever attended.

She’s heard the gross old white dudes threatening to drown their kids if they were ever gay. She’s read the articles about trans kids getting murdered and not being investigated. She’s been the subject of a political argument that never makes any progress because it’s always the same line time and time again. 

She doesn’t even bother to refer to herself as a lesbian, because the word itself has become so fetishized, the center piece of sexualization and straight guys fantasies that Kyungsoo’s been scared away from using the word.

She’s been the subject of being assumed that she chases after every woman she sees, including her own friends that aren’t even gay and then having to deal with the annoying, repetitive questions of if she has a crush on this person who is clearly very straight.

  
  
  


It’s a sin, is what her family members told her. 

It’s going to make kids uncomfortable.

She should be ashamed to know she has to live the rest of her life in sin. Maybe if she were quiet about it, she could keep herself from getting hurt.

  
  


It’s always in her head. All this hate for herself. All this anger and frustration about just wanting to be happy and never being able to make it.

It’s why she just has hookups. Strained relationships that never last because Kyungsoo can't bring herself to care, because that would get her hurt, right? That would just make things harder for her. 

It’s why she leaves after her couple of hours with Baekhyun. Because Baekhyun is confident, and Kyungsoo isn’t. If anything, Kyungsoo will only slow Baekhyun down, she’d be a weight on the others shoulders, nothing more than a burden, which isn’t what she needs. 

Baekhyun deserves to be happy. Baekhyun deserves infinitely more than what Kyungsoo can, could, or will ever give her. 

And she still shows up. She still lets Baekhyun slip her tongue into her mouth, let’s her strip her down and part her legs and fuck her until she’s begging for her to stop out of sensitivity.

  
  


“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun pants, “Ah-  _ Fuck _ .”

The sudden of Baekhyun’s fingers wound in Kyungsoo’s hair is what snaps her back to the present.

It’s been off since the last time Kyungsoo was here a couple of days ago. Baekhyun doesn’t seem as frustrated, but there’s still something in her eyes, and occasionally her actions, that Kyungsoo can’t unsee. 

It’s hard to ignore it. Impossible.

Sometimes Kyungsoo wonders if Baekhyun can notice all of Kyungsoo’s internal turmoil. If she can hear Kyungsoo banging on the walls of her burdens screaming and begging for a way out.

She wonders, as Baekhyun’s grip tightens in her hair and she begins to shake and grind against her mouth, how or what Baekhyun really thinks of her. What Baekhyun sees in her, and if Baekhyun envisions the mere possibility of them actually becoming an item by the slim chance gifted by the universe.

  
  


Maybe, in a perfect world.

  
  


A week and a half until Baekhyun goes back home. Kyungsoo’s chest feels heavy. Something isn’t right.

  
  
  
  
  
  


🐧 💄 🍓

  
  
  
  
  


One more glance at herself in the dark screen of her phone, decides that what she’s wearing should be good enough, and Kyungsoo knocks at the door a couple of times.

She told Seulgi and Sooyoung that she’d meet them here, and she can hear their laughter and chatter among the chorus of other voices inside. A few seconds later and she’s greeted by Irene herself, and just a second after that, a hug. 

She immediately starts in on the questions, asking how she’s been, how’s work, school, all that stuff. It feels good to talk to her, and everyone else in their little circle. Kyungsoo hasn’t seen any of them since they last hung out the night she was introduced to Baekhyun.

“Oh speaking of!” Irene says suddenly, “There she is.”

  
  


Upon seeing Baekhyun walk into the room from the back porch, Kyungsoo could melt into a puddle, evaporate into nothing, or spontaneously combust all at once.

This happens everytime she sees her. Always. Kyungsoo always feels herself get nervous and her face turns red and her heart skips beats like it’s a stone being tossed on still water. 

Baekhyun smiles at her. Her eyes turn up into little creases and she waves.

She greets their friends, then takes Kyungsoo’s hands in hers. They’re warm, they’re soft, her nails are a different color, they’re red, contrasting with the mostly black outfit.

Then she kisses her, soft and chaste, but just long enough that Kyungsoo can feel strangers stealing some glances with raised eyebrows.

“I was hoping you’d make it.” Baekhyun smiles, “Want a drink?”

Kyungsoo nods, and lets Baekhyun take her by the hand to the kitchen, asks someone Kyungsoo has seen before maybe once or twice to make Kyungsoo something that she can’t really hear because her blood is pumping so hard she can hear it.

Baekhyun has been acting so off the last couple of days, that now Kyungsoo isn’t sure what’s really going on. Is Baekhyun mad at her? Stressed about the move? About something going on at home? She has no idea, Kyungsoo just knows that Baekhyun’s entire demeanor has done a total 180 since the last time they saw each other.

“How was work?” Baekhyun leans up against the kitchen counter, hands clasped around Kyungsoo’s waist, pulling her in. 

“Are you okay?” Is what Kyungsoo blurts out instead of responding to Baekhyun's initial question.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows press together, her head does that side tilt when she gets confused, and she stares back at Kyungsoo, “Huh? I’m fine… Why?”

“You seemed upset a couple days ago. I just… Wanted to make sure.” Kyungsoo feels Baekhyun’s hands start to fall lower and she steps back before they can.

PDA is not her friend. Not now, not ever.

Kyungsoo blinks, watching as that one person she vaguely knows hands her drink to her. She thanks him, sets it on the island behind her and looks back at Baekhyun, who is now pouting in front of her. 

She feels eyes in their direction again. She doesn’t like it.

“Are you drunk?” Kyungsoo asks, Baekhyun shakes her head, “I’m fine.”

“It’s just.. You know...” Kyungsoo notices she’s fumbling with her words, trying to find the right thing to say, “Stuff.” She says finally, “There’s a lot going on right now. I didn’t think you had noticed.”

Kyungsoo takes a sip of her drink hoping it will wash away the blush in her face, “I notice a lot of things… About… You.”

Baekhyun’s eyes narrow, and her smile is soft but cognizant, “But not everything.”

  
  


“Come on, let’s go meet with everyone over there.”

  
  


What was that supposed to mean? 

“Not everything”, of course Kyungsoo can’t notice everything. She isn’t psychic. But still, that’s a phrase that kind of shakes Kyungsoo up inside even if she tries not to show it.

Her mind is stuck on so many different things at the moment. Snowballing with one more detail, tone of voice, one more glance and touch on top of the other things Kyungsoo’s mind is always incessantly worrying over that it’s become hard to focus on the conversation in front of her.

She tries to focus, move around a little and take in the other people here. She recognizes a good handful of them as flirts from other parties who thought she was straight, a couple more who she’s seen in passing or in class. A lot more that are just straight up strangers, friends of friends of Irene’s, most likely.

She’s yanked back up to the surface when she feels fingers run through her hair, “You okay?”

She watches Baekhyun who watches her and she nods, “Fine.” She answers as sure as possible.

  
  
  


One drink, from who she is reintroduced to as Jongdae, turns into two, because he’s really good at making drinks and seems to get along with Baekhyun really well. 

Two turns into three, finally Kyungsoo starts to feel the back of her neck warm up and she feels a little more relaxed, a little less wound up, and pleasantly leans against Baekhyun while they all watch some more strangers light store bought fireworks off in the backyard.

Baekhyun is touchy, clingy, but in a cute way. She hasn’t lessened up since Kyungsoo got here, but now that she’s just sated enough to relax just a little more, she lets Baekhyun run her hand over her shoulder and through her hair.

Of course tipsy Kyungsoo would be the one to allow this to happen. Sober Kyungsoo would have fully evaporated into nothing by now.

Why can’t sober Kyungsoo be as allowing as tipsy Kyungsoo all the time, she thinks. If only she was a little more like Seulgi or Sooyoung, who are playfully sharing kisses and taking candid Instagram pictures of one another in front of the fountains of colors; They’re loud, uncaring, and so happy to share their love with each other and everyone else.

Meanwhile, everytime Kyungsoo catches someone looking over their shoulder at her and Baekhyun, she feels like shrinking into herself.

“Hey, Kyungsoo?”

For a second she thinks it’s Baekhyun and glances up at her in question, but when Kyungsoo sees that Baekhyun is looking behind her, she does too, and nearly chokes.

“Hey, uh… Sorry if I’m bothering you guys. I just… Wanted to say hi.” Chanyeol smiles, “Your hair looks shorter, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Chanyeol? I haven’t seen you since… Wow.”

Previous fling and so close to a relationship that she ended up bailing and calling things off with her. Star volleyball player at their university and such a heart of gold that Kyungsoo has no idea how they managed to end up together in the first place.

Kyungsoo must be attracted to girls who have their life together.

“How have you been?” She asks, trying not to fall backwards into Baekhyun since she quite honestly feels like she’s about to die of embarrassment.

Chanyeol shrugs, “Pretty good. Just practicing, gaming, you know the deal. I’m surprised to see you here, honestly. Parties were never really your thing.”

She blinks, “Yeah, I came by force.” She says, immediately changing the subject, and slipping out of Baekhyun’s hold and stands next to her,

“This is Baekhyun. She’s my… Date for tonight.”

The two introduce themselves, smile kindly and all, “I should get back.” Chanyeol grins, “Watch out for this one, Baekhyun. She’s unpredictable.”

“Kidding,” Chanyeol laughs, “It was really good to see you, Kyungsoo. I’m happy for you.”

They watch Chanyeol slip back inside. Kyungsoo leans against the railing of the porch with a heavy sigh.

“Explanation?” Baekhyun asks, rubbing her hand up and down Kyungsoo’s back slowly until she stands back up.

“That was a… Kind of ex? Not yet a relationship but not really strangers either. We were pretty close.” 

“She’s cute. Really tall.” Baekhyun smiles, turning Kyungsoo around so she’s facing Baekhyun, and leaned up against the porch.

“But I think I like being your date more.” She pecks Kyungsoo on the lips and they turn back to look at more shimmering colors. There’s a lot of chatter around them and she takes a quick glance behind them when a firecracker pops behind them to see a few heads turned their way.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun’s voice has Kyungsoo looking back to the girl behind her, “Are you okay?”

  
  


They’re uncomfortable, aren’t they? 

  
  


Kyungsoo nods, watches, waits, sips anxiously at her drink until it’s gone and has small talk with Baekhyun until the show finally starts.

Everyone crowds outside, they keep their little place on the porch and stare up at the sky. People talk, couples dance and share kisses and look genuinely so happy with one another on the lawn in front of them and around them.

  
  


One of her relatives said she’d never find real happiness living a life in sin.

  
  


She sees Seulgi in Sooyoung’s lap, sharing laughter-filled kisses.

  
  


Somedays Kyungsoo wonders what her parents are up to. If only they could see past who she loved.

“Kyungsoo?”

She wonders why she can’t be like them. Or like Chanyeol, or Baekhyun. Why she can’t break past this thick ice and finally stick her head above the surface for once and  _ breathe _ . 

  
  


Why can’t she kiss Baekhyun under the fireworks like every other person here? Why is she pushing her away, why is she apologizing and turning the other way?

  
  


Why can’t she just be normal?

  
  


Her chest is tight. There's a faint hum in her ears from the suddenness of it all. She moved so quickly, it takes her a moment to realize she’s on the front steps of Irene’s house, head in her lap, and tears almost threatening to fall.

  
  


Why? She thinks, why is it always her? Why can’t she fix this, why can’t she move on from her past, from the toxicity of just a few, irrelevant people and just  _ live _ ? 

  
  


“What the fuck was that? Kyungsoo what the fu-”

Why can’t she love Baekhyun the way she so badly wants to?

“Kyungsoo, what happened? What’s wrong?”

Baekhyun deserves so much better. 

They would never work.

Kyungsoo is a coward, holding onto old burdens. Baekhyun is confident, making graceful strides through the world without a second thought.

Kyungsoo has never been the type to cry in front of people, no matter how close she is with them. She’s never let herself become so vulnerable in front of anyone, no matter what.

“I’m sorry,” 

It’s all she can manage to choke out in between choked, quiet sobs. Her face is still buried, she can’t look at Baekhyun, she knows she’ll just cry more.

“Kyungsoo,,” She feels Baekhyun sit next to her, one arm wraps over her shoulders, her other hand strokes over her hair, “It’s okay, you’re alright.”

She hushes her, tells her it’s okay, is patient until Kyungsoo can finally pull herself together.

“You don’t get it,” Kyungsoo says. Voice cracking, and still shaky, in the edge of tears already, “You don’t deserve me, Baekhyun. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I keep fucking with your feelings, I’m sorry I keep hurting you, I’m sorry I’ve misled you.”

“I’m sorry I can't be better.” Kyungsoo chokes. She pauses for a couple of minutes to get her breath back, to compose herself, and let the sound of the fireworks pass until it’s mostly quiet again.

  
  


“My parents, my family- they rejected me after I came out and ever since then it’s been this stupid cycle of me constantly degrading myself for being gay. Wishing I could just be normal, or wishing I never even told them.”

Kyungsoo wipes at her eyes, she feels them starting water again, and her throat tightens. She may as well spill her feelings since after this she’ll probably never get the chance to.

“I’ve heard the things people say Baek, I’ve seen the way they look at me, how they treat me. I’ve seen it all. I can’t hold onto a relationship because I’m too scared. I’m scared of other people, my family, the possibility of losing you. I can’t push myself past any of it, and in the end I’ve hurt so many people.”

“I don’t know how you’ve held onto me this long.”

  
  


“I was waiting for you to say something.” Baekhyun says after a few seconds of silence. 

“It always looked like something was bothering you, but you’re the quiet type, I didn’t want to force it out of you. I figured you’d let it come naturally, but it didn’t.”

Silence again. The only sound now is Kyungsoo’s sniffles, “I don’t know why I let you keep coming and going. I think… In a way I became kind of addicted to you. Like, after that first I spent with you, I wanted more and I just… Let you.” Baekhyun says quietly. 

The last part of that sentence makes Kyungsoo’s skin crawl. From Baekhyun’s perspective, her impression of Kyungsoo was something much different. Kyungsoo wishes she could hit that reset button over and over until it broke. 

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry to hear about your family. I can’t imagine how hard things have been for you since then.”

Baekhyun’s hand stills on her head, “Look at me, angel.”

Kyungsoo shakes her head, she can’t do it. She can’t bring herself to look at Baekhyun, not after what she said. There are so many thoughts racing through her mind about Baekhyun and this whole situation she’s thrown them into, she can’t look at her. All she’ll see is the pain and early mornings spent waking up alone and endlessly questioning where she might’ve gone wrong. 

  
  


“Just listen then, okay? I don’t ever want you to think that who you are or who you love is something to be ashamed of. I know it’s scary to hear things being said about you or have people side eye you, I know. That was me, too.” 

“But hurting yourself by holding on so tightly to that stuff will only end up being your downfall, Soo. I don’t want you to be afraid, I don’t want you to keep opening old wounds. I want you to feel safe, I want you to be loved properly.” 

“You do deserve it. You deserve to have that happiness, and I want to be the one to give it to you, Kyungsoo.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


🐧 💄 🍓

  
  
  
  
  
  


The last few days have been like night and day. After Kyungsoo’s outburst, her and Baekhyun left and went back to her place. Kyungsoo had one of those moments where she’d randomly start crying and apologizing and feeling entirely too sorry for herself. 

To her surprise Baekhyun was understanding, and comforted her until she fell asleep. 

Now it’s been a lot of talking. A lot of Baekhyun trying to dig through Kyungsoo’s mind and trying to see her perspective on things. Hearing herself talk about her past; the occasional hookup, and her thing with Chanyeol made her sink into her chair at the cafe they were at. 

“You’re not a bad person, it’s not like you were constantly sleeping around and playing people left and right, Soo. You just… You were young, you were in some new territory and you slipped up a couple of times here and there because you had bigger demons you weren’t wanting to deal with.”

Baekhyun took one of Kyungsoo’s hands from across the table, playing with her fingers and glancing up at her every now and then, 

“To me it sounds like you were hoping to find someone with the idea they would see that and try to help you, or you would finally find the peace you needed to help yourself. You kinda fucked up there, but it’s not like there’s a guide on how to be a perfect human being. We make mistakes, we learn, and we move on. Don’t let a couple of one night stands and a sour fling make you think you aren’t worthy of being cherished."

Baekhyun brought Kyungsoo's hand up from the table and put their palms flush together, threading their fingers, "I'm sorry, by the way," She said slowly, "I didn't call you out earlier, and I should've. I guess I was afraid you would just end up leaving for good, and I didn't want that. I wanted to be able to keep you close, thinking that I could somehow tell you how I felt, but... Yeah. I'm sorry if I hurt you too."

  
  
  


Since the party, Kyungsoo has been seizing every opportunity of free time she has to spend with Baekhyun. She goes to Baekhyun’s after she’s off, and after accidently making out for too long at the front door, Kyungsoo shows Baekhyun a thing or two about how to cook something decent that isn’t ramen, because apparently that’s almost all she knows. 

They binge anime, or some drama that Baekhyun insisted was really good because “Twitter said so” and then end up completely neglecting it for each other instead. 

Waking up in Baekhyun’s bed, curled against her side and seeing her sound asleep is definitely something Kyungsoo regrets walking out on. But she’s happy that she can lie here with her and brush her hair out of her face and kiss the little freckles on her lips and cheeks. 

She can wake up with her and finally say that she’s happy, because there’s someone that’s worth holding onto, someone that makes her afraid of taking a cautious step back. 

  
  


Last night, as Baekhyun held Kyungsoo’s slightly shaky body close to her in the shower, Kyungsoo brought up the question that’s possessed her mind since the night they met.

“What’s gonna happen when you leave? To us?”

She got the answer she needed when Baekhyun looked down at her, “We’ll figure it out as we go along.” She said, “A lot of facetime, for sure.”

They’re still fresh at this. This is all still new. She was right when she said they would figure it out as they went along. Because that’s really all they can do for right now.

It’s scary, yes. Because Kyungsoo was really starting to become attached to this little domestic life she and Baekhyun have been living for the past week or so, but Baekhyun has constantly reassured her and reminded her that she’s a lot stronger than her own fears, and that she wouldn’t be doing this alone. 

Baekhyun still has things to get moved in here, she’d be back in between. 

Kyungsoo really missed her chance to make the most out of what she could have had with Baekhyun while she was here, but will just have to make it work as they move forward. Baekhyun seems to be good at not looking back too much and learning from her mistakes. Kyungsoo takes a lot of mental notes. 

She makes the promise to herself, as she kisses Baekhyun hard and watches her leave through the gate that the moment she gets back, she’s going to make the most out of whatever time she has. She really lucked out on the fact that Baekhyun is even giving her a chance to begin with after making the moves she did. Kyungsoo may not be as confident and fearless as Baekhyun is, but she’ll take what she can learn from her, and do everything to make this worth it.

It’s what she herself deserves, it’s what Baekhyun deserves. Because really, Kyungsoo waves at her one last time as she watches her disappear, Baekhyun deserves the world.    
  


  
  


Someone like Baekhyun with someone like Kyungsoo. 

  
  


Maybe it could work after all. Because that’s just how the universe works (or something). 

  
  
  



End file.
